joebud5157

Hello one and all...My name is Joe..I am a 27 year old white male, 5'10'' and all of 135lbs, soaking wet,lol...Just a quick fill in on myself and... read more

Hello one and all...My name is Joe..I am a 27 year old white male, 5'10'' and all of 135lbs, soaking wet,lol...Just a quick fill in on myself and my issues...I have had two back surgerys, due to pinched nerves slipt disks and arthritis...My most reectent surgery, was in september of 2009, in which they fused my L5 S1 with rods and screws of course...I was put on pre-op meds, then of course many more after released frum my 9 day stay in the hospital. The addiction eventually took complete control, and I was taking no less then 30 5/500mg vicodin, 4 60mg morphine, 2 500 mg nerotin on a daily basis for four solid months..oh and about every other day 1 or 2 75mcg of fetynol patches. So, because of the mas amounts, i feel thats wat created my next set of problems. I, at that time, lived above and worked at a bar, so after a night shift, and my daily use, i felt like whats it guna hurt and ta hell with it, i'll just have a few drinks. ( i did drink on the regular regardless, even tho i shouldnt have, what can I say tho, i started getting to know the regulars, who drank at my bar, and when i cooked for them, there best way to thank me was to buy me a drink when i got off work. who passes up free drinks, come on, realy..lol) One drink turned into shots and eventually staying till they closed, I exceeding my usual amounts of fet. that night, and vicodin, so in the matter of just a few hours, i remember taking 10 vikes, and went up to my apartment to smoke a lil weed and the patch. So, once the night was over, and well bc i worked there, my boss wanted sum help closeing up, n asked me to stay, help n continue drinking..shure why not i thot, i felt fine, not tired what so ever, i was on my 5th n 6th wind, and again, free drinks!!...That morning, ( and i remember everything from the night before, n that very morning like it was today, very scary ) I am a smoker as well, of course, so i lit 1 up, took one hit, n out came the first vomit episode. Thinking it was just frum the heavy drinking, no, it was everything finally catching up to me. By the time I got to the hospital, by ambulance, in my home alone, i threw up 9 more times, n it was nothing but blood. I tried to call the hospital, n simply ask what do i do, n couldnt stop vomiting...I just couldnt hold the phone so i hung up on them twice. I finally just called 911, put the phone down, had to puke again, so when i had a break, i yelled out ''help'',they were there in less then 2minutes. So, to the point here, im sorry, after a tube thru my nose, down my throat n into my stomache to pump the rest out, i threw up 4 more dam times with that tube in my mouth, n wow did it suck n hurt. and of course a byopsy, they strongly recommended rehab. I still, bc i was so gun hoe on thinkin im right n doctors are wrong, continued with the drug abuse, no more alcohol tho. But only for about another 2 1/2 weeks. So, rehab it is, and i detoxed for the 1st 4days, n stayed inpatiant for 3 weeks. Of course that went well, and after released on good terms, i tried my best at the 90 in 90, enrolled into drug n alcohol classes, starting going to church, etc...etc...I was realy thinking, wow, my life rocks, n I had a great girl, family n new friends at the time. Unfortunatly my head got a lil to swelled n I got over conceeded, i convinced my then wonderful girlfriend, plz just one vike, bc my back was kinda hurting, n the IB profin was not helping... One turned into, lets just say, a complete n total backfire.. I slipt back into the addiction, thinking i had control this time, maikng a lil extra money, doi illegal things..so on and so forth...Now, today, april 20th,2011..( of all days, right, happy 420, but not to me ) I just returned home frum getting my induction at my local methadone clinic, n my very first ''medically suprivised'' dose..30mg today, then 40mg, 50 mg for a week n a reavaluation to up the dose depending on how its been effecting me...K, i no a lot of useless information here, i simply wana get my story across to any or everyone in here who has helped and or would like to ask for help in any way shape or form...There are always answers, n well, this i feel n strongly believe in is my only hope now. I am going down the right path, and wana continue with the program, hopefully only as long as its needed, i dnt wana be dependant on this for years, i no its atleast an 18month program tho...BUt i do, greatly appreciate everyones answers, concerns n feedback..You know who you are in particular, the ones who have helped extremely much in just the past few months. I dnt wana single anyone out tho on here, n make others feel like that they are usless,,so not true..Now that i am in this program, i hope to and very much intend to as well, keep up with my posts, answers many questions/conerns to the best of my ability and show with proven facts of my personal experiences now, that there is help out there, in many corners of the web, n the world in general...Life without struggle, and there is no progress. I again, am greatly appreciative of all the help thus far n in the future as well that i recieve and can possibly pruduce on my own...Thank you for listening or reading my lmae or boreing story...Hope is out there, dnt fear rejecting, or judgement, u will never recieve them here....