snowgoer68

Hi, First Off I have been married to a wonderful man for 18 years who has been so supportive. I pray things get better for me so he and I can have... read more

Hi, First Off I have been married to a wonderful man for 18 years who has been so supportive. I pray things get better for me so he and I can have a life together again. My history is so involved but this will be brief.I am an above knee amputee(AKA) and have excruciating Phantom Limb Pain(PLP).68 operations,23 broken bones,1400 plus days in the hospital.500 x-rays. Two Catastrophic accidents in 1981 and 1983.AKA was in 1996 and I have been in the worst pain imaginable to me for 13 years.Way worse than any pain I ever had in the burn unit with a leg. I also can't rub it which makes it worse. Having one leg is a piece of cake compared to the burning,gnawing,feels like a vice with razors is enclosing on my phantom foot, pirhana attacking it. I have researched this over one thousand hours and spent 3 grand in medical books. I have tried 40 different meds. Honestly lately I have finally had some relief from a med called lyrica. I have been on opiates for 13 years also. Three days after my AKA my life changed in a way i could never imagine. i was talked into the AKA by the best doctors at U of MI hospital, read everything there was the--and watched videos from prosthetic facilities who make you think you wheel in with your wheel chair one day walk in the next and are running soon after. LIES,LIES,LIES,.I'm Getting ready for a Spinal Cord Stimulator-that fails and then a possibly a pain pump, I am so burned out and just want a break. I do feel good about my meds now but will be scared to death the day I try to come ff of them because my body has gotten so used to them.The pain and looking for relief has consumed my life. I was given a sleep med called xyrem, not by my pain doc,by my psychiatrist of 16 years THAT I TRUSTED and on DEC 24 my husband found me unconscious with no pulse. Called 911 and CPR was performed. My sternum still hurts and it's hard to breathe. What haven't I been Through. I've also had pleurisy, shingles, chemical mono, pneumonia, and I couldn't have children due to the accidents. A lot for one person to go through. I manage to stay strong and focused. I am a survivor although with PLP it's hard to live.I will try and help-others. Thanks to all for listening and I welcome any help, a word of encouragement, anything.I too am here for you Goodnight to all of you on every support site here With warm and gentle thoughts, Staci PS.I WILL WALK Again P.S. What's happening know is I am trying to find a good pain doctor in MICHIGAN if you have any suggestions.. My Life Sometimes In my Life, I wonder Why I continue To Fight. The Pain, The Tears, My Every Little Fear All My Cares After All These Years. When will it Go Away, If Not Yesterday, Then Today Sometimes In My Life I Feel Like I Can't Go On Then From No Where I See The Sun Knowing God Is Not Done I Just Want To Ask Why, He Softly Whispers Give It Another Try Forever In My Life, I Will Walk With Pride and Not Hide I Will Stay On The Path Of Courage And Let My Self Be Nurtured. Written by Staci NEVER DEPRIVE SOMEONE OF HOPE;IT MAY BE ALL THEY HAVE"