She is struggling with depression for the first time in her life. She was let go from her job in January through no fault of her own. It was really a situation where she was manipulated and forced out, so someone else could have her position. Since then she has sunk into a very low functioning mode. She constantly replays her work situation in her head and blames the people involved. These thoughts completely consume her, and she gets so anxious that she will start gagging/heaving.
She has begun to see a psychiatrist and he has put her on 100mb wellbutrin and prescribed atavan for the anxiety (2x daily). This combination has been in place for about 2 weeks now, and there are some days where she seems to be her old self. But usually that is followed by days where she doesn't get out of bed, and won't take her medication for anxiety. She is very resistant to being on medication.
I feel completely abandoned and don't understand what has happened to my wife of 16 years. I hate being around her, and have seriously considered separation, though we have two small children. I have moments where I am overwhelmed with anger towards her for not being willing to pick herself up. My anger is especially bad when she has a good day, followed by a bad day.
She doesn't think she has depression, or any brain-chemistry problem. She is continuously repeating how she can't live with herself, she let her family down, on and on. A typical day for her is laying in the bed or couch, doing absolutely nothing. She will get up usually in the late afternoon when the kids come home from school. The real problem ISN'T what happened in the past, it's what she is continuing to do DAILY.
Anyway... I don't know what I'm asking for here... just wanted to find a place to spew my misery.