Ok, I need help. Not sure where to turn. I just found out that my husband has been addicted to Oxycontin for the past 2 years. HOW STUPID CAN I BE? He makes pretty good money, but refused to ever let me see a paystub. Money continued to disappear! We're about to lose our home! I never could figure out why he was so secretive. I was on the verge of hiring a P.I. The only problem was, I had no money!!! He was spending ATLEAST $120.00 a day. My God, I'm an idiot. It got so bad that my children and I were hungry. I had nowhere to go. A friend of mine who is on food stamps has been bringing us grocery's. Thank God for her! Well, it all came to a head when he got robbed at some whole in the wall in a bad part of town. The guy stole his cell phone and called me. He told me EVERYTHING!!! I literally dropped to my knees. Seriously, the life drained out of my body. He admitted everything! He's on Suboxone's now and is really trying. Here's the problem, I CAN'T FORGIVE HIM... The way he let us sit here and suffer.. Not being able to pay my bills, eat, cloth my children, put gas in my car.. etc.. I swear sometimes I think I could kill him with my bare hands.. Someone PLEASE give some advise.. How do I get over this?? Also, his withdrawal symptoms are awful.. I want to help him, I'm trying. I'm just soooooooo flippin' mad and confused!!!
29 Dec 2009
It's hard to forgive addicts. It will take time. You have you remember it's a Chronic DISEASE. It's literally a disease like chronic heart failure or Diabetes, It can get so bad that it runs a person's life for the rest of their lives even after the fact that they got help. I would be grateful for the fact that he's not dead and left you with nothing but he's getting help now and is trying to figure things out. It's hard to for a person with addiction. I would compare it to eating food with sugar in it or having sex. It's like giving up sex or any food that has sugar in it for the rest of your life. That's how horrible an addicts life is after they quit and get help. It's a lifetime struggle for both the addict and his family. I would high recommend that you see a marriage counselor. That can help.
As long as he's clean he will continue to get better and you'll notice the old husband you once had, but it will take a lot of time. It's a hard disease to treat. Remember that relapse is also common, same goes for any other life long disease such as Heart failure or Diabetes. As long as he's doing his part to take care of his life and not do drugs anymore than I personally think you should be grateful even though it's hard to forgive and forget an addict. If you personally forgive him and tell him you're there for him I think that would motivate him. Also feel free to make rules such as if he ends up using again you will divorce or you will leave him and he will never be able to see his children again. Make him go to AA or NA meetings on a weekly basis or else you he will suffer the consequences you set. Make him choose between the two, Drugs or family. I hope this helps. Feel free to contact me privately as I have been through an addiction as well and know what he's thinking most likely. Hope this helps! Happy Holidays! Enjoy the New Years!
10 Jan 2010
I was addicted to Oxycontin for a long time (5 years) and it is a vicious addiction. I continously lost my family, possesions and ultimatley my soul (as you are describing).However, there is hope,I have been clean for a lengthy period of time which has given me my life back. Just try to remeber that your husband is a sick person right now. Methadone/suboxone may not be the answer for long term abstinance of drugs. my advice would be: 1.suggest that he goes to rehab - a good rehab will train the addict (your husband) in addiction and give him solutions to the pressures of life without the drug. 2. NA meetings are a must for long-term recovery/ clean time. I attend NA meetings regularly in order to keep me clean. Good luck to you and your family - you are in my prayers.
- OxyContin Information for Consumers
- OxyContin Information for Healthcare Professionals (includes dosage details)
- Side Effects of OxyContin (detailed)
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