I need my friends. No insurance, SSI Disability, and Medicaid?

My Dear Chris,

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You are a wonderful human being who has been able to overcome many obdstacles in your life and every time you have fallen down you have stood back up again and again, stronger and with more experience... you are a fighter, a winner in my books.
I know about depression and this is the reason why you feel like you do now, but it is not real it is the state of mind you are in . You must NEVER give up ever and you know this, from my experience, Chris, there is always some light at the end of that dark tunnel, but as I mentioned you can not see it because depression has hit you hard and you lost faith in yourself... please do not go down that road, have faith in GOD and in yourself, I know you can do it ... you are one of the strongest persons here in DC, always helping and caring. Chris I believe from the bottom of my heart that you must dedicate time now to help yourself, to focus, to plan, to have objectives and not let this depression sink in so badly you can beat this ... if I can so can you and we both have been in that deep dark hole and got out, of course is was almost impossible, as what you are living now, but you did it once and perhaps many times that I do not know about ... YOU CAN DO IT AGAIN!!! you have the strength, it is inside of you, lost at the moment find it and find it now do not throw in the towel the fight is not over yet and I know you will pull it together and get out of this situation, there is always a way as long as you want it to be,you must search , you must seek and you shall be rewarded by the one above.
So my dear Chris keep on fighting as I said you are a winner going through a rough very rough patch I will not deny that at all, have a positive mental attitude and you can count on me anytime.

All the best, your friend,

Andres

You ARE a fighter Chris. Listen, I am in about the same boat as you, and believe me, it's not a cruise ship. I have the SSI Disability and get 1151.00 which is probably a few hundred more than you. I waited my two years, as you may still be waiting?? and then finally got Medicare, but prior to that, went 2 years w/nothing as i made too much money for Medicaid any longer and so my hip just disintegrated more and more and more until there is nothing there and i walk w/cane around the house, I have two for when i lose one and believe me, this apt is not big, and the hip surgery that i should now be getting is paid for all except 200.00, no problem, right? Well, the hospital bill is 10K. After I have incurred 2700.00 in expense, Medicaid will p/u the rest, but it's all so effd up, the way the spenddown program works in Wa.

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that it has to be in certain months and even at that, I can't afford another bill for 2700.00, so was waiting to hear about a charity program that helps w/the hospital bill, they would only need to pay the $2700 for me. But 2 mos. later and a few phone calls, no response. My Dr. thinks that they will call in Jan. when their new funding comes through. I also am guardian of and take care of my dev. disabled step brother, which is the only way i could ever afford to even have an apt. , as we have no Sec 8 or anything. I love him alot, but it is so hard to not even be able to go spend the night somewhere w/out him and it has been this way for years and always will be i am afraid. His caseworker put in for Sec 8 for him and I was counting on it and my lease is up end of this month from this hell hole ghetto we've lived in for 4 yrs. and now i find that they did not find him needy enough at the time and it is now closed again until June of 2011 and we cannot stay here any longer so i have no money saved up and must be out of here at end of month, not to mention am not physically able to do much and have to pay someone to move me. Fortunately, my ex's mother is willing to help us out w/some money to get into a place, but it's always tough because since i became disabled and lost my job, my credit has gone to hell and trying to get people to rent to you is virtually impossible w/out paying first/last, deposit, alot of dough. I am still running around w/no hip, was supposed to have surgery on my varicose veins tomorrow, but had to cancel as I cannot afford to be layed up any more than i already am due to the need to find a place and try to move. Now, the good news is, after going through hell for the past 2 wks. looking for an apt., wanting one, not getting it, fighting w/the landlords here, even tho i pay promptly, they won't fix anything and are about 20 yrs. old and I can't deal w/their absolute incompetence, so they hate me and i hate them, therefore they do not send in my rental referral, altho a good one, on time and i lose out on apts. that i might have gotten otherwise, I found a condo that is just around the corner on the backside of the golfcourse where my best friend lives in a community called Fairwood Greens and it's 3 bdrms. 2 bathrooms for 1150 and 500 dep. and my ex's mom is going to give us a couple grand to try to get into that place. So all of the bad stuff re my trying to move, was not meant to be, as i have a feeling this is where i am supposed to be. it is also for sale for 115K and was sold originally for 430K. So I am trying to talk my ex mother in law into investing in this condo for her son so that he has a place, I have a place and she has a decent investment that will always go back up. No one listens to me, so i throw my hands up too and just say, How Stupid Is Everyone??? And still, I wake up each day in such pain i can barely move and have to down 50 mg. of methadone to get my coffee and should have had a hip a year ago when i first got my Medicare. MY step brother has a caregiver that is supposed to work 5 hrs. a day but only works one and then gets paid for her 5, she showers him and makes his bed, ruins my laundry and talks on the phone the whole time she is here. I like her as a person, but she sucks as a worker. So I pick up the slack on that and also take care of him the rest of the time and although he is not physically disabled, he is incontinent and sneaks food and is diabetic and it is all just too much for me too honey. I want to simply get on a fucking airplane and fly to Las Vegas or Costa Rica or Mazatlan, anywhere but where I am right now, but since i have no hip, i don't think i'd have too much fun anywhere else either.
Chris, i just vented all of this to help us both. To make me feel better by venting and to let you know, that you are NOT alone, we all have these dreadful crosses to bear, God only knows why, but my belief is that we learn from everything we experience and I hope and pray that my belief is true. I am still an attractive 53 yr. old woman that cares about clothes and having a life again and I really do not have one at this time, so I know how you are feeling and I want you to know that it will change, i don't know when or exactly how, but please do not give up, you are such a joy to everyone on here and we all love you so much and you DO have people that care for you, i would not have written all that i did if i did not care, as i did not feel like typing right then, but when people need you, they need you and you need to know that the squeaky wheel gets the oil and you have to keep fighting to get what you want and especially, what you need and are entitled to in this crazy world where most people would just as soon spit on you as say something nice, it's too much at times, but most of the time we deal with it and having a bad spell is just part of life. Please take your hands back down and use them to dial a number or fix yourself a bowl of ice cream or a drink or whatever it is you can have that will help you and make you feel better. You will be in my prayers tonight love and say one for me too, that i get that condo and my ex's mom wakes up enough to buy the place and make a good investment before all her money is spent on her drug addicted using daughter. Love and kisses and prayers, and all meant sincerely and you will get through this time, you are just that type of person, i know you are.
Dede

We all struggle, and I don't have the energy to post usually when I get depressed, and with my situation finally receding, I'm going to gradually return - more and more as time goes on. I'm sorry to hear that your having such troubles!! Life some times just feels like it just plain out sucks, and for me, just want to hide under a blanket or something, but it's not like that's going to do any good. I do know that its all a matter of perception on things, and the way things are lit.

Did you know that your eye perceives orange, but not red - red is a color completely composed by the brain to blend with purple and blue. My point being that the way we experience life is all in the head, and that's when it's functioning properly, it's blunt out lying to you, making up colors, shrinking objects down to create a perception of distance. When it's not in the best shape, and somethings gone out of balance, oh my god it sucks!!!

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I think that you and I and along with many many other people on this site know all to much about this, unfortunately...

best of luck to you, and I do hope that you feel better soon
Jeff K

Dear Christine~
I am relatively new to Drugs.com and was not familiar with your situation.
You have had so many loving responses that I went to your profile to
try to get to know you a little more. I have been in severe chronic pain
for over a decade. Like you, my life went from rich and full to something
I still struggle to define and come to terms with. I know that
no one can totally know another's experience. We may try but none of
us experiences things exactly the same way. Still, please try to hear
all the support being held out to you and remember who you used to be to
yourself; and who you still are - not just to support others - but to
support yourself. I am wondering if you can go back and read your own
profile. Read it from the perspective of seeing yourself for the first
time through your own description. I read of a woman who is strong,

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but human. I read of a woman who knew how to experience joy, but
then had it ripped away. I read of a woman who, in spite of her own
pain and problems, willingly and readily reached out to others. I read
of a woman whose goal was often to inspire hope in others. Can you
try to reacquaint yourself with that woman?? She is there, just deeply
struggling right now. Can you allow others to reach out to you? Can
you try not to look into all the tomorrows but live in the knowledge that
today, in this moment, you are surrounded by people who care deeply for
you. There may be little that others can do for you other than to remind
you of who you are to them, but let that be enough for the moment.
Whatever your belief system, allow it to embrace you, and take you to
that time where there will, again, be light at the end of the tunnel.
I wish I had words of comfort and wisdom, but I am simply a partner
in this journey. I would like to share two quotes that sometimes help
me. Maybe they will touch you, maybe not. Just know that even
though we have never spoken, there is an energy between us all that
can be felt if we are open to it. I send it to you now, and will continue
to do so. Deepest blessings and take care...

In the midst of winter I finally learned that there was
in me an invincible summer. Albert Camus

A friend hears the song in your heart and sings it to you
when your memory fails. author unknown

Hi christine, My heart is breaking for you, I just want to fix you and all my new friends. The most obivious is do you have a lawyer? if you do, get another one. I don't know what state you live in but I am in Conn. and my disability went through so fast because my Dr. was the one who applied for me, I fought him tooth and nail. I was finially home, meaning searching for my purpose (Hospice, taking care of the terminally ill) and it was yanked out from under me. I was being very selfish, it took my Dr. to say to me"Joanne, you are now putting your patients in risk" y, u ask? cause I could no longer move them or do what was necessary like bending etc. feel free to write me directly at my e-mail if I can be of any more help. I am so reved to go and fight for you and everyone who is not getting their basic rights. A life of quality being pain free.

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It's not like it can't be done, I don't get what has happened to the medical profession that seem to just cave and will NOT fight back. It's the old "What's in in for me" I am sencing. Love,hugs and healing from your pain and plight. I am on your side. I do better fighting for othrers than myself.

Chistine,
your not alone hun. I have tried to thrw the towel in as well. I to thought I was a fighter, however I have come to the conclusion Ohio is no place to be in chronic pain with the Cleveland Clinic buying up all the hospitals they can and than trying to get everyone off pain meds. I lost my doc of 12 years due to a misunderstanding, wonderful guy, and went with another very wel nown doc I had 13 yrs b/4 that he said he would take me on and got popped being a coke addict, so now they are bringing in any docs to the pain clinic that are not even in the pain field and last time I went in he actually said to me he did not know much about pain meds, go figure. I was put on the lowest dose of meds I have ever been on, and found a new doc. I just got a call today reminding me of my pain app. from the other clinic and I told her I won't be back and why. I also told her I heard they were closing and all she said was it did not look good, and one day at a time.

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please bear with me and together we maybe can talk through this and get somewhere with our emotionss and all
know I care as to all of you I am here at least for today!
dm