I am on 8 mg of Suboxone, take 1mg Xanax TID, Ambien 10mg, and then was taking Prisqui(antidepressa?

Thank you for your nice response. I am able to be up cause Im still taking my suboxone, and 2mg xanax today. I am so proud of your son. I am a lot older, and should know better but always think I just want to feel good one more time. I know how your son feels. I have tryed heroin, but believe it or not was working for a long time and no one knew at work until a unbelievable event took place in my life and I just went overboard.

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You are right it is a job to figure out how to get it and when, and there is NEVER enough. I know I can do this, you are right about rehab it doesnt work unless you want it. I am trying to look at this as something that I will eventually look back on an think "was I crazy?"Yes, hopefully will be my response. I was off everything except, 2mg suboxone and an antidepressant, then i relapsed and i dont like the anti-depressants im still depressed so why take them? Believe it or not the dr that prescribes my suboxone referred me to a dr. who prescriped xanax, ambien, and my antidepressant. It was so easy and then I justified it cause I felt so bad when I tried to quit, I said well the dr. wouldnt give it to me if I didnt need it. If it wasnt for my mom, dad, sister, and recently sober brother I would not be trying to get off it now.
I hope i will have a normal lifestyle soon. I wont have a home, job, or money but Ill be sober and everyone says its worth it.
Im in northern CA too. I just dont have the money for rehab and like u said u just have to want it. Thank you again, Ill see how I feel in a few days when Im off Xanax completely and down to 2mg Suboxone, hopefully Ill feel better.
Good Luck to your son, he started young and has his whole life ahead of him, tell him helping others who are worse off then u, makes u feel better and then you feel very selfish when and if you do relapse. I hope he dosent. Thanks J

Glad to read all the different amswers you got. Rehab is a very tricky thing. I am a proponant but then I got sober 30 years ago and I really felt it saved my life. I drank for only 9 months but like a sailor and when I went to rehab I felt like I was releived only to have to stop drinking becuz I thot I was crazy. Both my parents had it so I knew what it was that first morning that I had to have a drink to go to work - what a miracle - that drink was like magic and I was hooked. I went to meetings faithfully and stayed sober for 12 years, had 2 kids and used AA as my power. Meetings are kind of different now and I don't know why. I have been thru a major pain problem and took norco for 3 years until I had hip surgery and alot of other drugs - practically everything mentioned here-I had taken oxy for a shoulder and it is soooo hard to get off of.

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Like I said my son went to his first rehab very young and some guy taught him how to do heroin while he was there so then came another nightmare. He did go to the Salvation Army rehab in Healdburg , CA and it saved him because he learned so much about drugs and he really knew he was an addict very early on because I talked so much about my own addiction to alcohol and then of course we were both addicted to the opiates but are now both off - he on subs and me on work ha... I know both sides of rehab and it really just depends on the PERSON - the rehab for my son was bad the first time but only because HE wasn't ready and I knew it but was just a desperate parent and another thing I've learned is it is not too good to try and interfere too much in their recovery - they will figure it out but he did say he gained a few years with my knowledge. It is hard to know one is heading for a relapse tho and one thing I absolutely will not do is enable and it is really hard not to but I know that too much "nice mom" will kill him. My husband, his father does not understand it but is very supportive and does have alot of compassion - he just kind of depends on me to make sure he's O.K. (!) and I depend on my son to make sure he is O.K. himself and he doesn't fix me and I don't try and fix him. It's hard not to let it be the only topic of conversation but we usually just don't talk about it too much except if we actually see a problem or behavior that rears it's ugly head. Gosh when I read this it sound like co dependency. Well it is kind of funny when I think about it because we all work together too - we just make it work. This is so good for everyoone to read every ones experiences - it's like a good meeting where you can trust everyone and just be yourself and take the information you need. I can still hear some of the old timers from the meetings saying that they were doing the experimenting for us so we didn't have to go out and have a relapse. The were so smart and the same things apply even 100 years late - just don't drink and it will be fine. That worked but the drugs when you are in pain is a whole different ball game and I know it. Each case is indivisual then and everyone 'really' knows when they have a problem with it I think. Good luck and hope to hear from you again. My son was looking up some information about the suboxone on this site yesterday so he likes it also. htwooh

Hi Rob,

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Thank you for your response. This helps when u are just laying in bed feeling sorry for yourself. You would think I would know some of this stuff being a nurse, but all my common sense is lost right now. My mom actually told me I should not cut back so fast either. You are both right. Today I have taken more Suboxone - 6mg. She suggested I go to 6 for awhile, then 4 and see how I am. Yes I would rather take a small amount of Suboxone for awhile then go back to the Oxycotin. Also thank you for suggesting I take .05mg of Xanax TID instead of 2mg per day. I did go to rehab for 30 days last year but relapsed 1 week later. I too wanted to kill some of the nurses and staff , I am usually not a violent person, but the withdrawl was so fast and then I should have not come back to my same environment. Did you start your same business again? That is great! I lost the best job I ever had, I worked there for almost 13 years, and had it pretty good, to say the least. But everything happens for a reason, I have to believe this. I am 39, so thank you. This forum is nice, it gives me hope.
How long have u been sober?? Are u still depressed?
I love to work out and run but dont feel up to it yet. Do you think I should quit the Xanax all together or just stay on it for awhile like my dr. wanted me to. I just know I am physically addicted to the Xanax cause I get panic attacks but I just rather not have to take anything.
Thank u again
Jenn

HI

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I truly believe if your life is getting better and your working on behaviors you are going forward. I started that journey in may of 2008. Right now I take a little less that 1.5mg of suboxone and I choose to stay on xanax but the xr version. People who suffer from Panic disorder studies are showing that they usually dont have to increase more than 4mg a day and the tolerance level stays about the same for true panic disorder anxiey it works diffrent. I have been on xanax for 20 years never really got above 6mg . Now I take 4mg once a day and not panic attacks. It is time releasd and you dont have he peaks and valleys with the ir version. I would stay on the xanax for a while but switch to the xr and the suboxone remember when ever you come of opiates/opoids and the antangonist there is going to be withdrawal. if you go straight from oxys to suboxone stay on it a year and come off people say oh its the worst withdrawal, no its not its your body readjusting. the suboxone allows people to become more stable and be in therapy and start healing relationships and once you start doing that maybe come off it. then you wean slowly know you will have some withdrawls but remember suboxone is one of the most potent antagnis/agonist it is almost as equal to carfentynl this is an elephant painkiller/tranquilizer, they measure buphrenorphine in micrograms and were given milligrams, i think they give us too much seeing and thats what i am see alot of people on 32mgs of subs who took one 80 mg of oxycodone a day, well you now what, 1.2 mg is equal to about 20-30mg of oxycodone do the math. keep in touch with me.