I am dealing with methamphetamine addiction?

Note: NA does help a lot of people but do NOT believe them when they tell you it's not religious, it's actually thought by some to be fairly cultlike, in some ways. There is a lot of dishonesty in their program, since in the 2nd Step they say you have to believe in 'a higher power' which will 'restore you to sanity'. But in the 3rd, it's "made a decision to turn our lives over to God as we understood Him" - so the gender and capitalisation make it quite clear that "God" means the Biblical God, not just ANY God.

I have been to many meetings which were advertised as pagan or atheist and STILL they had prayers.

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I find it dubious that many very expensive rehabs - in fact, I can't find a single one that DOES NOT base its therapy on 12 Stepping - charge huge fees for their services... granted, inpatient facilities are costly but if the THERAPY is part of what's paid for, this goes against the NA traditions of remaining free and only accepting yet never requiring donations. Finally, it's just plain wrong that drug courts send thousands of people to mandatory meetings who do not want to be there in the first place.

I've got a bit of a problem with this substance - I don't shoot nor do I smoke, but want to quit for economic reasons and the fact that the insane drug war resulted in the banning of ephedrine, causing methlab cooks who often don't know what the hell they're doing to use less-effective and more dangerous substances to make this drug from. If I could get a physician-managed prescription for twice monthly doses of Desoxyn, I'd have what I want to use, for the purpose requiring it, and not have to pay these profiteering outlaws who finally lost all my ability to use this without feeling terrible morality issues when I found out they sometimes test their products on animals, particularly certain animals I am very fond of, and though pharm corps also do this sometimes I would hope there MIGHT be some regulation, that maybe they'd stick to rodents not cats from animal shelters... that's what did it for me, last month, realising I could not support that.

It's not always as evil a drug as people assume, believe it or not, or at least used to not be, because of all illicit drugs it's the only one that can sometimes help people actually do things. In a world where everyone has to have two jobs to survive, LOTS of people you probably would never guess are using speed just to get by. That's not healthy use since it would quickly become daily, though...

Still, though two-three times a month's the most I ever have to do with it, I want off. But 12 step will not help me - I am not Christian, Jewish or Muslim, but I do have a higher power (no, not Satan, at least not to me, though most Christians would probably call my religion idiolatry, and so I am not finding friends at these groups.) I really, really wish there were alternatives to 12 Step that didn't lure people in with the assurance they don't have to believe in God, or respect the monotheist version of a Higher Power for it to work, but once you've been to a few meetings it becomes quite obvious this is NOT the case...

This has just been my experience, your mileage may vary...

Emma1965

ps: I'm going to try Prozac after my first speed free month to see if that helps, since lack of libido is no longer an issue for me, being that I'm too old, fat, menopausal etc. to attract anyone, realistically speaking nor do I have interest in anyone else, probably because of menopause but a bad break up 5 years ago after 10 years of a truly wonderful relationship with someone who didn't even use drugs yet could tolerate my own use of them left me finally for someone else who was totally straight and mostly virginal. It left me really messed up and I'm over the worst of it but I quit my anti SSRI preaching because sex is not as important to me as getting my head together and keeping my drug use to my MMT and occasional medical marijuana for Hep C - that's my goal, and I hope to reach it on my own - it is the will of my own god (I'm polytheist) so I really won't be happy without following through.

Hi again, nanawanda, this is RAMESES again, and I am writing You back, just as I said I would. Nanawanda, I was able to get in touch with my good, good, friend that I told You about. We graduated high school together, and I have known him since the second grade in elementary school, so I have known him for right at 40 years. (Wow, I didn't even realize it had been that long) So, anyway, we talked. We talked for over an hour and a half, and this is kind of difficult for me, nanawanda, because I live here in Texas, and I am not even sure where it is that You are. So I will just begin, and try and tell You of all the things that we discussed; the first thing that he wanted me to BE SURE, and tell You, is that for You to not feel alone. That there are A LOT of people, right where You are at, and for You to not feel alone.

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Nanawanda, right below my comments, is a comment made by another friend of mine, named Grey__Cypress, I believe, and I think he was saying how AA and NA helped him quite a bit, and my friend did say that those organizations are very good, but they are not for everyone. For example, my friend said that he went to MANY NA meetings, and right before he would go into the meeting, he would do up a big shot of dope, before he went in, and then, when he left the meetings, he told me he would get in his truck, and drive about 10 miles, down the road, and pull over and do another shot of dope. So for him, personally, they did not help him at all. I asked him if there was a certain place, or shelter of some sorts, or an organization that she could go to, and for that one, he said "check the back of the yellow pages". So I then asked him if there was some kind of agency of some kind, that she could go seek help there, and he said he knew of none. This next part, is the hard part for me to tell You about, nanawanda, and that is, because You have never been in trouble, there just aren't a lot of places out there for this type of situation that You are in, BUT, I believe, that there IS some places out there, and I just don't know about them yet. So, what I'm trying to say is, is that I intend to do some looking around, and asking around, and see if I can come up with something that might fit You perfectly. I believe that there has to be some thing out there, that has the options that You are looking for. You know nanawanda, I kind of compare it to the "lawyer thing"; You know, how if You needed to go to court for something, like a land dispute, or some one damaged Your car, or something like that ? Well, You would have to hire an attorney, right ? But, if You committed a crime, You could get one appointed for You. For free. Makes no sense. You have to commit a crime, before You can get some help, and that is EXACTLY what it is that my friend told me. It was like, once he had gotten in trouble, the state of Texas immediately began to get him some help, but before, when he had gone to them, ASKING FOR HELP, they all offered nothing, but once he was incarcerated, he got all kinds of help. I know, it just doesn't seem right. And, there is one other VERY IMPORTANT thing that he wanted me to tell You about Your situation; and that is "You have to be DEAD SERIOUS about getting help, and WANTING TO REALLY QUIT, or nothing will do any good, or help in any way". He wanted me to be SURE and get that message across to You, more than anything. I wish, so much that I had more to give You nanawanda, but just as I promised You before, I promise You again, that I will look into this further, and ask some questions, and find out what I can about some help that is available out there for You. I promise You, I will do my best to get You some kind of answers on this, because I would so like for You to get Your life back. Well, that's all for now, and as I said before, I wish it could be more, but please, just try and hang on, and hang in there, and I'll do the best I can to get You some answers that might help You, o k ?
Stay strong, and stay safe, and I'll be back here just as soon as I can, and I'll try and hurry on it too, to get You the answers You need, o k ?
Be safe, And stay safe...
RAMESES