How do I kick heroin ?
- 20 May 2010 by jazz7237
I am 37 years old , I have never worked a day in my life for i come from a very wealthy family who has always spoiled me beyond belief all my life . I started using heroin in 2005 with my wife and have hooked ever since.I have tried to go to various rehab centers ever since i have used heroin and nothing seems to help me . I have 2 beautiful little children who my wife and i just lost custody to d.c.f.s. because of our drug addictions , I want nothing more in this life than to just get clean and live a productive life. My drug addiction has landed me in Illinois state prisons 8 times over . I lost my mother to cancer in 2007 and now my wife is in cook county jail currently fighting a possession charge . I feel like all hope is gone and i have seriously been considering suicide as a way out of this hell i find myself to be in right at this very moment.It makes very sad and depressed knowing that my family will always give me money when i ask for it to constantly feed my heroin habit whenever i want to get high and escape my problems along with my depression.Now i am at the point that my addiction has gained total control of my life in a mental and physical capacity that i feel like i can't function in life without it.I know if i keep going the way that i am that very shortly i will end up losing my life and everything i care about will be destroyed but yet i still use heroin to cope with my problems. I can't believe that i am still alive right now after all the drugs i continuous put into my body on a daily basis. I read a lot of stories on this website of other peoples story's of there struggles and concerns with wanting to get clean and sober and wanting to live a normal and productive life but so far have been un-successful . I guess what i am asking to whoever will here my cry out for advice and assistance in this matter is as follows. I don't have any medical insurance and i am 37 years old , I don't think any home remedies will help me with my detox and recovery to a clean and sober life.I think i will have to go into a hospital for my detox and suicidal thoughts, I don't really have the nerve to really take my own life when i am sober but when i get high enough on heroin i feel like i could truly carry out my objective of taking my own life which really scares me beyond belief because deep down in my heart i know that i want to live and change my life around for the better. To all the suffering addicts out there that are struggling with this addiction of heroin my heart truly goes out to them because i am in the same boat right now. I just find it so hard to face life on life's terms when i am sober. I miss my wife and children so much that i can't cope with the depression and fears that i will never be able to see them ever again . If there is anyone out there that can throw me any kind of sincere support with this and offer any kind of advice of how and what i can do to keep faith alive in my heart and to give me some kind of positive direction i can be open to try i would most certainly be in debt to that person or persons that can give me some kind of feed back to help me save my life before i end up dead or in jail for life.My heroin habit right now is about $ 500.00 a day everyday right now and i don't think i will live to much longer at the pace i am going at right now so i am running out of time to try and stop this addiction i currently have that is pretty much destroying my life by the second.Please if there is anyone out there that can offer me any kind of honest and sincere help to kick this addiction and depression i have i would most certainly be there up-most debt forever.I tried to dry out the hard way with no medical detox remedies i just went cold turkey and i encountered all kind of extreme various side effects that where so terrible i felt as though i was going to die.So i was forced to go and use again just to take the withdrawl pain away but then i found myself back to square one again and nothing positive came from it which added to my depression and caused me to want to kill myself once again . Is there any kind of remedy that can cure me from this heroin addiction and finally set me free from this white powder devil that has total control over my body the way that it does. Can i get better ? Can i get my life back to a normal state again and be the man i once was ? I seen a lot of home remedies online to help with the withdrawls but it seems like a hoax to me . I tried suboxen before and that helped me get clean for about a month but because of my deep depression that i suffer with i found myself going back to heroin once again to numb myself and make me forget all my depression but i know i am just kidding myself because all that it has done was provide a temporary solution to an everlasting problem and the very next morning when the drug wears off i am still feeling the same depression but more intense which makes me feel even more suicidal (so i am so desperate to know if anyone out there has any kind of suggestions or comments that can point me in the right direction to save my life and finally put this white devil poison to rest and free myself from this hell that i am in once and for all !
Thank You From The Bottom Of My Heart To Anyone That Can Hear My Desperate Cry Out For Help Before I End Up Dead !
8 Jun 2010
Your story is similar to my boyfriends story. He and his ex lost their children because of heroin. She was in an our of prison because of their habit etc. He was sober when we started dating and recently relapsed. Anyway, back on you I hear your cries because you sound like him. He wants to be sober so badly for everyone else. You have to want it for you. I read what you wrote. What is it inside YOU that hurts so bad that you feel the need to put that needle in each time? Thats what you need to dig deep down and figure out. There is something within you. If you family has the funds, I suggest tagoing to a treatment facility where they can keep you comfortable. Cater to your needs. The withdrawls are horrible, and you need a good support system around you to help you through those. Its the withdrawls that keep you using too right? I am not an addict, I am the girlfriend of an addict so I only know what he tells me. He has been using for nine years and has little fight left in him. Sounds a lot like you.
23 Aug 2010
I am also a heroin addict for almost four years now, I have thought about doing this myself as well but I do not want my family to know that I am doing the drug again after overdosing three times and coming back from being brain dead, it would break their hearts. But anyways u say ur from illinois and i dont know if they have them their or not but here in indiana they have methadone clinics that you could go to. I know that if they dont I am sure u could come to indy to get ur self better if that is truly what u want. I dont know if u have ever tried methadone before or not but it is an oppiote as well but they use to ween u off of the heroin the only thing is that u have to go to the clinic everyday. If u say u have the money and nothing else has worked for u then I would seriouly give this some thought. I really do feel for u because u have already lost ur children, I am only 22 and do not want to lose my daughter to this drug as well.
So I will pray for u and hope that god gives u the strength to beat this thing so u can get ur children back. God bless u and good luck!!!
17 Sep 2011
I just read your post May 20 2010. It's Sept 16, 2011 and I hope I'm not too late. I started using innocently about a year ago because I moved and had been under a doctor's care for neck pain and was given pain meds for relief. When I moved I had the doctor refill my prescription a couple of times but said she couldn't refill them any longer telling me I needed to go to another docter. Well I was unemployed and didn't have insurance, but had a little savings and some assets left. I'm just telling you my story so I can share my story with you and I too am trying to figure this out and finally get clean and save my life too. My neighbor, who's in his early 30's, turned me on to heroin, telling me it's like pot or opium, and it would help me with my neck pain. It sure did help me with my neck pain, but I had no idea how addictive and destructive this drug could be at the time. One year later, I'm thinking about ending my life too inorder to stop this vicious cycle that we're both in. I've lost everything and I'm so depressed I want to live but everytime I try and quit it so horrible I just don't want to live through it. I tried going to a clinic and got on methadone which is worse then heroin to begin with because it can take years to get off that treatment, and the withdrawals are worse. So, recently I stopped taking methadone and have been using herion to do that because I understand that it's easier to detox off heroin. Presently, I'm going to try and lower my heroin usuage to just enough to feel comfortable, and stop using the drug slowly to the point that I use only once in the day, and then just stop. Go through a rough 3 to 4 days and hopefully have the strength to be stronger every day to stop completely. I don't know any other way for me because I don't have the money for rehab and if I did I'd seek professional help. I don't know if I'll survive this either, I'm just going to try, and if I make it than I'll try and create a new life. If not, I'll see you in heaven, cause I believe dying is my only way out. I have no family left, no home, no money, no job, and it seems like no future. The only challenge I have is to try and live a sober life. All the best my Brother in life, I hope we can make it.
25 Oct 2011
i feel for you. i was addicted to heroin for several years. you really need a medical detox but than you need to go into some intensive behavioral modification treatment. i have 12 felonies, i have been in county jail countless times and prison 3 times. that never did me any good until this last prison term when i asked for drug treatment furlough. i was sent to a behavioral modification program that changed my life. of course i got very lucky since most things like that that the system offers are lame. and of course it would be much better if you found a place on your own (after good thorough research). heroin is a drug of escape. what are you trying to escape from? you need to figure that out. another thing that helped me more than i can say is being introduced to a very different concept on addiction when i read a book called " the final fix .AVRT, addictive voice recognition technique " written by jack trimpey of rational recovery systems.
amazing concept, makes sense ,totally rational and it works. But seriously you are going to need to implement all of these things AND have 100% dedication. good luck and really do whatever you can to get out of the suicide mode , you will never see your wife or kids if you go that route.
18 Dec 2011
Been there buddy. Stay with us stay strong. Suboxone maintenance and serious counseling will take you a long way. Also get as heavily involved in n.a. as you can. Understand these people are your clique your family your brothers and sisters they're always here. Find a good sponsor. Hell man if you need a sponsor I will gladly take you on. I too came from the life of luxury. I had no work ethic no desire nothing. Just pure pleasure driven behavior coupled with the need for instant gratification. Addiction is all of your life. Not heroin not sex not anything specific. It is the way you choose to exist. Again remember that it is a choice. Live for your children. Live for your wife. Suicide will only hurt everyone even more. You are strong I can tell you are developing the mindset you need for recovery:life or death. Anything you need I'm here buddy let me know. I'm prayin for you. WERE going to beat this.
28 Jan 2012
I was addict to pain meds and herion for 25 years. I tried to kick the habit many times with no luck. I also spent 4 years in prison because of my addiction. I too have money and have been retired for..well my whole life. I am now approaching 1 year of being clean and sober. It is all because of methadone. I found a CADS clinic in Rocki island, ILL and got my dumb ass on methadone. Along with methadone I give back from witch I have taken so much from. I chair AA and I help other addicts. I also help children get thier parents back from drugs. This along with methadone is what keeps me clean. To be clean means change. Change who you are, where you hang out and every other phase of your life. You may call me (563)528-5607 Rob before you do anything stupid. Taking they easy way out only hurts the ones that love you. pick up the phone and call.
19 Apr 2012
First you need to find someone selling suboxone. If you have the resources to get heroin then this is usually not a hard task. They go for about 12 dollars a piece. If you are up to a gram of H a day the it will probably take 4 subs to take and gradually get off. Once you have the subs, break them up into 4's and take one every 12 hours. Wait until you start to go into with withdrawl from H. This is important. Take your first broken piece. You may find you need to take another piece a few hours later. You will find that all the symptoms of withdrawl go away. Upset stomach, chills, diarrhea, muscle pain. Wait for about 12 hours and take another broken off piece. Keep following taking pieces when you start feeling pain. by doing this you will eventually by day 4 not need anything. You will not feel any withdrawls and you can continue to work during the process because you never get sick.
Here the problem being an addict. Don't start taking the suboxone after the 4 days. You may not feel 100% but you will not even come close to being sick. You will just be back to being you and that is a tough part because you want to be high only you just will be normal.
Believe me, get out of the sickness expected. Only problem is you will think, Hey I found a way to get high and not have to suffer the consequences with your new found trick.
What I told you will get you out of using without the sickness but it is up to you to move on and never use again.
That is the physical part... the rest is up to you. But I just gave you info to endure and get past the horror of opiate withdrawl.
20 Apr 2012
Wow this too is my story almost to a t . But my family is not so wealthy but does ok just my mother . And what she has had is gone now due to me . Either I begged or stole when not given it and boy does that make me feel horrible when all she wants is for me to be ok . Iv pushed everyone and everything to its limit .
But its hard to get her to understand that I do want to quit and not only because money is gone because I did wanna quit even when the money was there just never had the power to do so anyways I need help just as you do I've been to rehabs in the past it work for a little bit of time but now I think I my habit is higher than ever before and my withdrawals are violent I'm actually scared I have friends and acquaintances who is actually died in our local county jail due to such withdrawals by no means do I wanna be 1 of those numbers or statistics I have attempts to suboxone and methadone I never really followed through no I'm at a point where there is no money insurance or facilities that I can go to I'm at this alone just me in a bed and all this fear I know it is possible because of done it before but I've never been this bad off either I don't know basically I'm just scared and like everyone else I want the easy way out . so I'm there with you I understand. my only hope is I have 5 suboxins maybe that will help but everytime in the past I ever took em I get worse than I was to begin with so I don't know which way to go my health is declining I can fill it and see it I too have children and now they're seeing all this I need to be there for them in can't unless I get this h far away from me but this withdrawal is just so so horrible I hope and pray that I will be safe while trying to attemp this . bottom line from here on out all I face is jails institutions or death it's even got to the point to where I shot fleece . my life is in shambles and I need help bad just sucks that now that all the money is gone I'm seeking help no insurance nowhere to turn at this alone pray that this can be done
8 May 2012
In the last 2 years I have managed to kick heroin, methadone, and xanax. My addiction started when I broke my back and pelvis when I was 22 yrs old. My Dr. prescribed me oxycotin and that is when my opiate addiction began. When the scripts ended I turned to heroin (injected for 1 year straight). My doctor reccomended suboxone and I got the sickest I have ever been. I split my lip open on the toliet from vomiting so hard. Yellow bile. I lost conciousness when I was finally able to poop and ripped my colon. I was exhausted but could not sit still. After 12 hours of this, I turned back to heroin until I could get in to see my doctor for a different solution. My doctor told me I got that sick because I did not wait long enough to take the suboxone. He reccommended that I take suboxone 48 hours after last opiate use. I only waited 24 hours exactly before I took the suboxone. i told the doctor i was over the suboxone solution.
The next solution was methadone. I went to the methadone clinic every morning for 6 months and successfully stopped using heroin. (no matter what kind of addict you are, do NOT let them put you on more than 40mg a day. Never increase in dose. Always know that the half-life of methadone is 3 days meaning you feel the methadone most 3 days after consuming it.)One thing about dosing early in the mornings is I would put myself into a mental kick in the evenings because I was used to getting high on heroin in order to fall asleep. If you are facing anxiety at night, talk to your doctor about a sleep aid or Xanax. I was prescribed a small amount of Xanax every month in cases of extreme anxiety so that i would not be tempted to use heroin. After 3 months on methadone, I began moving down in dose very slowly. We did not set a schedule. I made the decision on when I wanted a smaller dose and I would never go down in dose more than 2mg. I could go on and on... but long story short I have been clean for 11 months and i have a great full time job. The back pain is still there and it is something I deal with everyday, but I am living my life. Please email me if you have questions or need advice. I know what you are going through and i know it is scary. But there are solutions out there. also, Never forget about the power of accupuncture and medical marijuana.
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