I have been married for 8 years. We have 3 chilren under the age of 8. She has been in and out of rehab, inpatient and outpatient. She had a 2 to 3 year period when she was sober. She started using due to medical issues that caused pain. The pain went away but the drug usage opened a door that was shut for a while. In the last year it has been a rollercoster ride. If we did not have children i would have left a while ago. I am considering going to family court to have her removed. I am a little worried that once i get the courts involved that i can turn ugly fast. Help Wanted?
2 Feb 2012
Welcome to the site, sorry you have this awful heartbreak of a problem. Since you are married, you are going to have to a) try to have her committed, which might not be that easy b) charge her with a criminal charge or c) find a really good attorney. C is the most expensive but effective route. Most people are a bit shocked at attorney fees in an awful case like this, but usually, the person with the best lawyer wins. The lawyer should definitely be able to tell you how to legally get her out of the house. I know this will be hard, but it might be necessary to get it into the legal system. May i offer one more piece of advice that i hope you won't be offended by, please get a therapist to work with the kids, and you too, if you are willing. It is hard for them to have their mom physically out of the house, despite her addiction and the upheaval. It will help them transition better.
You may also need to just really vent and the therapist can guide you thru that, so, you won't get stuck in the victim role for long. This is a really hard place to be in, but i am glad you realize you might have an easier time without her in the house and affecting your family. You are in my prayers. Ptti
2 Feb 2012
Hi help wanted,
I am so sorry to hear of your situation,it is indeed a tough one!
Patti has given you some great advice,you should definitely take on board what she has suggested!!
I understand how difficult it must be on you to have to make this decision but for what my advice is worth,i think you are most certainly doing the right thing by your kids,especially with them being so young,but as Patti said although your wife's addiction is damaging them with her in the house,they will also need guidance for when she is left. She is their mother after all,and an addiction is an illness but if she is willing to put her addiction before your children and not get the help she needs then having her out of the house is the only way to go!! Hopefully it will make her see sense and realise just what she is missing.
I wish you the best of luck and hope you get the help YOU need!!
26 Jun 2013
Can I ask how things went ?
I'm in same situation but with an 8 month old baby.
She is so out of it most days.
I'm paying for babysitting most days for 5 hours.
If I leave is all the issues of house, our baby which I believe she is incapable of looking after but she will fight to the end to keep her.
For me to be sole parent dad is almost impossible. I work long hours and can't see how I could get her to day care each day.
I feel like a hostage
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