Hi everyone,

I'm 17, 18 in a week, and I've been suffering with bi-polar disorder, adhd, and an anxiety disorder for about 4 years. When I was first diagnosed I was put on a overfilling list of different drugs, they tried xanax, lexapro, lamectil, adderal, and a few others I don't remember. I decided to deal with it everything naturally, except for my adhd. I've been taking adderall for the past 2 years, and I was doing just fine. About 7 months ago I got out of an abusive and stressful relationship. And about 3 months ago my disorders started surfacing again. I'm a very happy-go-lucky person, but now, when I get angry, there's no calming me down. If I go too long being angry I start panicing and eventually go into a panic attack. I've had 4 so far in the last 3 months where I can't breathe and my chest hurts, and all I can hear is my heartbeat thudding in my ears. Then, my adderall prescription was changed from iinstant release to time release and all hell broke loose. I had about 2-3 panic attacks a day. I saw a psychiatrist and he gave me xanax. I was perfectly fine until the next time I saw him. Except It was hard to sleep and eat. The next week, he switched me back to instant adderall and gave me another medication called vistaril which is an antihistamine/anxiety medication. But all these meds make me feel crazy. Literally. My panic and anger have gotten worse and my psychiatrist doesn't have a very good reputation for listening in my book. I'm miserable and just want to be normal again. I can't lead a successful life without adderall because I can't focus on anything and can't complete any project or tast without it. But I can't take this many episodes. The only way I can explain them is that I'm at war with myself. Part of me wants to be angry and violent and throw things, part of me wants to cry and break down, and part of me knows I'm overreacting and just wants to calm down.

Does anyone have any advice? I can't take much more of this. If anyone suffers from bi-polar disorder and anxiety, do you know any methods of calming yourself down naturally. I'm dying inside and just want to be normal again. I can't take it anymore.

I'm begging for your help.

-Stefani