Three years ago I was actually sitting right here at my computer, felt like I had a charlie horse in my leg... got up and walked it off, well, two days later, it was extreme pain going down the back of my right leg... went to my family doc, she sent me to a specialist, and was told I had a ruptered disc (L5 S1)... here is the thing, this is very important I think, I NEVER had any back pain before I had the surgery to fix my leg.. the surgery was a total sucess in that my leg was better from the time I woke up in recovery, but after about 2 months, my back started killing me... another MRI, showed that I had scar tissue that formed and grew on the root of the nerve they fixed. I had another MRI recently and this spinal surgeon is the 1st doc in three years since this started, that actually sat down with me, showed me my MRI on a computer to where I could make out what was what, and explained to me why I am in so much pain. He also said that he hates giving bad news to someone my age, but that it's never gonna get better, only worse. My L4 and L5 are gone.. they rest of my discs showed up white and healthy looking on the computer MRI images, but the L5 and L4 there was nothing there inbetween the vertebrae. My L5 is hitting bone against bone.
The surgeoun said that he could fuse that, but with the scar tissue, he still doesn't think it would give me any relief that would justify doing the surgery. And every surgeon I talk to about the scar tissue says they can't operate on that, it would just make more grow back even worse.
Ok, now for some answers, yes, I am taking 20 + lortabs a day. I have even taken up to 40 before. I scared myself *less (pardon the swearing, I am not usually like this, it's just soo frustrating) anyway, when I realized at the end of the day I had taken that many, I though ok, just kill your liver now. I then went to my former doctor, told him that the hydro isn't working at all anymore unless I take more than I am supposed to, and he said "I'm not writing you any more pain med, you're hooked on them" Well no *, I have been on them for 3 years! I did stop taking them about a year and a half ago to see if the pain I am feeling was being caused by taking the pain killers, I have heard about that. Well, it wasn't. My back hurts 24/7.. and the surgeon I saw said that's mainly from constant pressure from the scar tissue being put on the nerves.
Ok, so I found a new doc, showed him my MRI reports, and he wrote me for 90 lortabs 7.5, one every 8 hours. Seriously, that's not going to touch my pain.
I have asked them to please switch me to percocet for a while, they just act like I am a drug seeking junkie. I know there are people that sell them, and that screws it up for people that really need these. But, I have been in the position where I had to pay a visit to the people that do that, that's all I will say about that, since I don't know how open I can be on here. Let's just say that I am about to lose everything I own. They aren't cheap.
Ok, I took a 50 mg time released morphine pill a couple of times, a friend gave and I couldn't believe how good I felt the next morning.. I wasn't grabbing for the hyrdo's, no withdrawl feelings, no waking up in agony.. I mean I was able to get right out of bed... It was amazing, something that hasn't happened in over two years now. I would love to be put on some kinda time realese med, but let me ask my doctor about that, and he's just going to cut me off.
I honestly have been so depressed lately, I have spent hours crying and crying. I am being 100% with these docs, and they are totally leaving me up * creek without a paddle. Back when I was going around lying to them to get them, I may have lied, but I only ever got them to take for my back, I was able to get them easier. Now that I am honest with them, it's insane that they don't take any steps tp help me. I honestly read somewhere that a doctor cannot leave you in chronic pain without doing somethign to help. But I guess they don't go by that rule. I have tried finding the site my friend sent me on the internet, I lost the link to it, but I would lvoe to take it to my doc and show it to him.
Ok, I was totally out today, and someone gave me some tremadol, surprising, they helped... I never thought they would. Maybe it's the fact that it's something different from the hydro? It didn't relieve a lot of the pain, but it made my day almost tolerable. Ok, then a really dear friend if mine brougt me 50 L 7's, and the thing is, I bet I won't be able to make them last 2 days.
I agree 200% that hydrocodone is not the meds that docs should be giving out for chronic pain. I didn't know jack about pain killers back when this all started.. had they told me that coming off them would be as bad as coming off heroin, I NEVER would have taken the 1st one! for two years, they wrote me and wrote me for pain killers, now it's like pulling teeth to get a doc to write me anything, because I was going to the ER a lot, and seeing other doctors. But *, when you feel like you are about to die from the pain and the W/Ds, you'll (well I will) do anything to get them. Not anything, you know what I mean, lol.
Ok, I have two refills, one I bet was cancelled b/c I called in that it was stolen when I ran out, and the pharmacy ran a report on me, saw where I waw sgetting more than one filled at other places, and called my doctor. PRolly reported me to the DEA as well.
And yes, the spnial surgeon wrote me for 60, three a day, and I have a refill on that one, I am hoping it didn't get cancelled. Everytime I try to talk to my new doctor about changing my pain meds, he says he won't talk to me about it. There was a doc in his practice that was just suspended for this kinda thing, right before I started going there.
Sorry this was so long I thought it might help if you knew more the situation. Thanks so much for listening, and I hope I didn't write too much here and it doesn't get read, lol.
Oh also, the biggest reason I feel like a worthless human being.. I have 3 kids, one 17, boy, one 15, girl, one 12, boy. I used to get out and do so much with them, and now I can barely fix their supper if I don't have my painkillers.. I mean they get it fixed, don't get my wrong, and I hide that I am in agony from them while I am doing it, that and other things. But man, I always prided myself on being a good mom, a good single mom, never missed a football or basketball game, a school play, etc, and now it depends on if I have pain killers wethere I go or not. See, told you, I am worthless.