Depression - I have posted questions and some thoughts I have a couple weeks ago I often look to see

My Dear Judipe... So very sorry my precious soul that you did not receive an answer to your original posting, this is not the norm on this site I can assure you. Not quite sure where it is posted but I will try to find it after I catch a few winks hon. In the mean time please believe that there are many many people on this site that care deeply about YOU, truly we have so many who work full time jobs, care for families & still dedicate numerous hours to helping others each & everyday because like myself, they feel the need to "pay it forward", because someone was here for us, here when we... like you are today, felt like there was no longer a reason to go on, we have been where you are dear & fought our way back, so please believe, have FAITH, lay all & I mean ALL, of your pain, worries, fears, at the feet of our Lord Jesus & allow him to carry your burden for just one day.

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Please try giving it over to God for one entire day, 24 hours, be honest with your effort and give it all over & believe in your heart the Jesus will help you. He may or may not take away all your pain, but I promise you he will help, He will make your walk thought out that day brighter & easier, after all, you will not be carrying all that pain & fear around with you, for the Lord is taking care of it, you may still hurt, but taking care of the cure, the future, is all in His Hands! Please know you are loved & not being ignored my dear friend, i promise to be be back & be here packed with as many answers as one human beings can have, because here we do not desert oneanother, we help heal each other & lift one another! God Bless Little One... Momma~Nancy

I am sorry, I have been in so much pain from the RSD that I do no get to be on here. I know how you feel, there is no cure, nothing helps with the pain (unless you get an infusion) & no one knows how it feels but people who have it. Mine is fullbody and it is effecting my organs. In the hospital they have no clue how we feel... The only thing that keeps me goin is the ketamine infusions, and I am still waiting for the new place to open. It is the only thing that will take away the pain. I get very sad and lonely to, I talk to a lsw, but nothing helps the fact that my friends and family have left me once I could no longer do what they wanted hurts! I just try a hide my feelings, but I tink everyday what have I done to get this? and why can't I just die? I have thought of way's, I thought off going to the country that give's you a death vacation. I have one person stoping me my husband. But if I get reall bad I say were goin.

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It's cheaper than the treatment! I know I should not say that... I am just letting you know we all have thought it. The pain makes you think a lot!! But we need to stay as positive as we can, stress is our enemy.
Yesterday, a kid threw a ball at my hip, I wanted to scream, but did not. His dad said sorry but the kids just laugh. I thought if those were my kids... Anyway I know how you feel is my point a plastic ball hurts and we just have to deal but I am here if you want to talk about it. I am sorry for the typos, my phone sucks & my computer is't working.
I hope your having a low pain day.

Hello judipe, and again welcome to the site. I looked at your profile & you have asked several questions since April 12th, & you have received 34 answers. I don't know where you are looking but sevral of the people that have answered today also answered before. I can relate to your pain problems,& also my husband is bipolar with many many pain issues too. He too has thought of, & tried suicide, but thankfully was not succesful but not for the lack of trying so many times I can't remember how many. My point is that he always blamed his suicide attempts to the admitting doctor on his pain problems. The last time he almost died. I don't know what kept him alive, but he fianally got a psychiatrist that he got along with, & didn't believe him when he said it was due to his pain problems. This was about 10 years ago, & to this day he still sees the same psychiatirst for his meds & talk therapy.

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His physical problems are too many to list, but they will be fatal as all of us start the dying process the moment we are born. Now most people don't want to get there any sooner than is at all possible, but wanting to is a big sign of trouble in your life. In your previous questions you listed that you suffer from depression, & that you have a psychiatrist. You also said you are on seroquel to help you sleep because of insommnia. I believe Pledge answered each & everyone of your questions so maybe you are not looking in the right place or something for the answers. You should be receiving email alerts whenever someone answers you. I friended you back in April, but you did not friend me back. I guess what I am trying to tell you is you are spreading your questions all out there. You should gather the info & put it into one so that we can recognize you when you ask a new question. As far as the wantng to die this time around, have you spoken to your psychiatrist about this? Doesn't he have an opinion? What meds do you take, & has your psychiatrist have you on any other psychiatric drugs beside seroquel? It would really help everyone to understand better if you would write all you info down as far as your meds, dr.'s, causes of pain etc... I thought I recognized your name today when I saw your question, & looked at your profile to make sure I had the riht person before I answered.If you are not on any psychiatric drugs for depression, I think you may not be talking openly with your doctor. If you are, & he isn't helping you then it's time to tell him so or change docs! I feel so bad for you, but you have to stand up for yourself too. Medication for depression is a good thing & has helped many of person who also suffer from chrontic pain.Dpression whether from all the pain you suffer or from just depression alone which is a disease in itself, can vary greatly from one indiviual o aanother. What works for one person may not help the next, & it may take a combination of more than on or two drugs to get you feeling better, but it can sucessfully be done. I also might mention that it takes these type of drugs a whil to work. A pain pill may work in 30 minutes or so, but depression meds can take upwards of 4 to 6 weeks of trying one & then another til you find the one that will help you. We are all here for your support, & wish you the best. There are so many different people on this site from all ages & all walks of life. Be strong & take what you can, & as a friend of mine tells me, leave the rest.Be honest with your doctor & let him help you & if he isn't find one that will. There is help out there you just have to do your part in finding it. If you want to friend anyone on this site, you have to go to your profile page & who you want to friend & type in their name in the space provided. Click on their Avatar & it will ask you if you want to friend them or not. They will be asked if they want to friend you back. Then you can ask them private questions too. I hope I have helped a bit to help you learn to navigate this site a bit. Also go to your profile page, & look at your questions & click on each one & you will see the other answers you received. You may not have set your email settings correctly if you are not recieving email notices that people have answered your question. In that case I have written all of this for naught! I wish you well, & hope you get these responses. Yes, we care! We are here just like you with problems, & try to help each other out. Best wishes to you...

Hello Judipe, there are many writers here who can relate to your level of pain. Many of us also relate to the depression a serious condition creates. You have been given lots of information and affirming thoughts about your feelings and condition.

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There was one statement in your question that struck me. You wanted to know why they simply did not let you die. That despair I have had to deal with. I, too, have an incurable disease. My future will be to suffocate prior to my heart going out with congestive heart failure or the kidneys or liver fail again. So many choices, so little time! However, I have come to terms with this. To do so I have a DNR filed, you go through your doc for this. I have appointed a medical directive and a power of attorney. The medical directive is with a friend as the burden to my husband and daughter would be too difficult during a time of crisis for them. I have discussed this with my doctors and they agree with this. I was informed that I could not survive CPR. So that is that.

This helped tremendously to have a plan and not let it all to fate. My disease, my responsibility. My worries reduced and I was in control of the only things left to me. I am telling you this because it is the answer to your question. you could contact Hospice and have them help you through this if you feel you are done with the fight. They handle pain well and withdraw all the extras. Again, you are in control.

If you want to keep going, then the therapist, antidepressants, anxiety reducing meds and whatever they can find for you is the course. Again, it remains your decision. That alone may well help you feel better: making a decision. You will be backed by us here no matter what you decide. Now is the time to do so. Please know we care. I care. Talk it out. I am listening. Karen