I should probably put this in my profile, but here goes... I'm not 100% on the year but 5 or 6 years ago is when it all started to go down hill. Early in Dec. I had a miscariage then four months later I got pregnant again only to find out at a OB apt that the baby was not alive. I was three months pregnant. I ended up having to have a DnC. Six months after that me and my doctor decided to go ahead with a hysterectomy. I've always had cramping throughout the month. Every day. I was also starting to bleed quite heavy during my periods. He ask if we were done having children because he thought I might have endometreois. To be honest with you I could have had four more children and been as happy as a pig in crap. So after talking it over with my husband we decided to stop and go ahead with the operation. Worst decision I've ever made!! I remember waking up in the recovery room in the most extrem pain I've ever felt in my life. I was on a morphine pump and was to push the button when I needed a dose. I couldn't push it enough. The pain never let up. After being taken upstairs to settle I had no choice but to lay there in extreme pain. After the first day they took the catherder(sp) out and found that I could not go the the bathroom. Which I understand is normal. However after a three or four hours I was still unable to pee so the nurse had to come in and cath me. I tried to pee after that and still could not. This went on for an entire day. The last time she helped me pee via cath she did not get all the pee out. So she took the cath out and was cleaning up and I still had to pee some more. She then went on to tell me that I was not going to get cathed again, not so soon. the soonest she could do it would be four hours. I started to cry and tell her no you don't understand I really still have to pee, bad! So she tells me if you need to pee that bad your gonna have to get up and go yourself. I said, "I can't, please help me!" No she wasn't going to help me. I said can you please call my doctor and ask him. No she wasnt' going to do that either. I said what am I supposed to do for four hours, she said take a nap. Can you believe that? I said take a nap? I cant' go to sleep I'm hurting really really bad and I have to pee. So she leaves the room and comes back with a surenge(sp) and puts it into my IV. I don't know what it was but it knocked me out. I woke up four or five hours later and felt like I was getting ready to explode. My second oldest son, who was there to help me got me out of bed and helped me to the toilet. Know the hat they put in toilets to measure pee? Well, hand to God, I darn near overflowed it. So little missy comes strolling in within the next hour or so and ask if I was able to pee and my son pointed to the toilet. She comes out of the bathroom and says, "wow you really did need to pee!" I was so upset and crying I couldn't say anything to her. So I got out of the hospital and went home. I was in so much pain. Going to the bathroom just about every hour. I've just never experienced anything like it. I couldn't get any sleep because of the pain and getting up to go to the bathroom. I call my doctors nurse the next day they were in and told her what was going on. She said, "your not drinking enought water, give it time bla bla bla. So after asking my OB for refills on the pain medicine three times and three or four test for uti's, that turned up negative he told me I don't know what's wrong with you maybe you should go to pain managment. Your kidding me? You don't have any idea what could have gone wrong? Anywho, about six months later I went to a uroligist where she did the test where they put diy up into you bladder to see how fast the kiddneys absorb it. Well aparently I'm the worst case she has seen in 23 years of Intercistial cystitias. So she sends me home the same day of the surgery and my husband ends up taking me back down the hospital the same day because I was in horrible unGodly pain. Mind bending!! So I spent three days in the hospital just so they could control my pain. So she tried me on Elmaron(sp) and hydroxezene and neither one of those worked. So I've been in pain managment ever since. I wish I could turn back the clock and change that one decision. I wish I had not gone through with that operation. It's not only changed my life but has changed my kids life and my husbands. My oldest daughter says she doesnt' remember much before I got sick. So it's either before I got sick or after for her. That tears me up. No child should have to put memories into those type of boxes. I too remember it like that. The day before the surgery me and the kiddos were running around the house playing and being goofy. I can recall thinking, "I won't be able to do this for awhile." Boy if I would have had any idea... I'm 44 and feel like I'm in my sixtys. About a year after this happened is when my husband got laid off from his job. Ever since then we've been paying out of pocket for doctors apt and meds. For almost three years that ended up being right at seven hundren dollars a month. So there were many many months that the rent went unpaid just so we could keep me "comfortable". Comfortable not getting better. Mind you the meds I take, Fentanyl50mcg and Hydrocone12/325 don't touch the pain most of the time. I take ambien just so I can sleep more then two to three hours at a time and now I'm going through menopause. I think the hysterectomy helped it along. I still have my uterius but I'm telling you I could tell. I know my body. I'm one of those people who could tell I was pregnant even before a home pregnancy would turn up positive. So here I sit with IC, fibromialga, depression, cronic fatigue and ADD. I'm usually a pretty positive person, even some days now but I'm telling you how much can a person take? We are at the end of our rope. My husband is still trying to find a job but we have no idea where next months rent is coming from. I think I'm gonna have to try and sell two of my horses. I went to pick up my boy from work and we just made it home on fumes. We don't have any money for gas and hubby has to do some stuff in town. He builds cabinets but it's not enough to keep our heads above water. We've taken everything in the house that's worth anything to the pawn shop. Heck he's got almost all his tools in there, my ipad and on and on. Our well it running out of water so that means were gonna have to start paying someone to truck in water. I get really scared for my husband because he just doesn't know what to do. He's really doing all he can and it's just not enough. So there ya go. Where does it end? I know no one can really answer this one, but I guess it helps to get it all out. I guess...