Depressed and pregnant!?

Wishful its gonna be ok! I promise you are not alone I knw exactly how you feel I've been there b4 so I'm gonna answer your question and tell you a story of a litl part of my life. So here we go take care of yourself first there for taking care of the baby. Now if you are worried abut the baby go to the er ang have them check the baby make sure you are taking your vitamins don't lift anything heavy than 5lbs and don't even vaccum your own floor it sounds to me like your plencenta is low which I know a lot of women have this problem to much lifting and vaccuming the floor can drp it mre and break your watr and cause miscarrage. Don't do that to yourself and don't do more steps than nessesary. Even if you are grocery shopping see if someone else can push the cart or use an electric cart. Watch to much walking as well. Now for my litle story.

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When I got pregnant with my 2nd child me and my first husband just made up and that's how I got pregnant with her. My other daughter was just over a year old. We was trying to make it work. For my family. He wanted to drink and hang out with friends not be there for me. So fast forward to 8 mnthes I was high risk {which I hope you have a high risk dr as well} my husband was gone 3 days partying with friends when he came home I told him I was being induce the next day asked him if he wanted to g with me bright and early or wait a few hrs cause it takes time. He answered "I don't knw I might have other things to do" I said yes you do pack your s@#$ and get out ill be home in 2days with our baby if you have better things to do we don't need you! My dad offered to take him to the hosp when he ent up he said no waiting for friends my dad said good thwy can help you with your stuff said if you didn't go for her and the baby you was to leave! So I had the baby he wasn't there and I was quite sad for awhile but me and my babies got along. I loove my kids and I provide for them all they needed and my family came and supported me emotionally. 2yrs later I met a great guy and we got married we have been married 8 years my girls love him. He's suppotive and caring. You can do this on yur own if need be but I think your husband is terrified as yu for his heart to get crushed again maybe he just needs time and don't know how to handle it. You be strong nurture yourself and take care of you. Your gonna be ok and you are not alone in this world we will help you all we can we will be your rock! You hang in there and goto the er see what they say and get checked out. After that take it easy try to relax have some lunches with friend treat yourself to a facial or something if you can. Stayy out of jacuzzis though found that out when I was pregnant! Make sure your dr is for high risk. That's all my advise for nw stay stong and congrats on the baby its wonderful make sure the baby knows that too they can feel to you know. Take care my prayers are with you! Jaime

My dear, dear girl... I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. Your hormones are "raging" and they make you so emotional and needy. They can really make your emotions go all over the place. That being said, realize that your hubby is probably scared right now also. Men and women are so very different in the way they express emotions and in the way they deal with difficult situations. Men are "fixers." They want to be able to fix everything whereas women just want them to listen and to understand... they want their husbands to say "honey, I understand." Women want to be held tightly and be told that everything will be OK. Most men do not understand this... they think you want them to fix the situation. They have no understanding, most of the time, that we just want to be held. This is a situation that your husband cannot fix...

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he may be feeling powerless, therefore, he may react with anger over the frustration of not be able to fix the problem. Give him room and try to acknowledge to him that you understand that he might be hurting also and that he cannot fix the situation for you, for you both. He may be feeling sad over the loss of the last baby, although completely repressing this sadness... he may not even know he is sad. Men are very simple... yet complicated at the same time in their needs. We women are just plain complicated!!!

Now, having said all of that... Did your husband really throw you out?? Where are you right now--- at home or elsewhere. Are you safe?
Does your husband want this baby also... or is he just doing it for you?
The response prior to mine, and I am sorry I do not recall her name, but she was very correct in suggesting that maybe you go and get some counseling. The military has resources in this field, I would guess???
I do know that they have at least a chaplain. I would also suggest that you seek where you can get some counseling. Do you have a friend/s or family member in whom you can confide? This is a horrible time... losing a baby and now the possibility of losing another... remember I told you that I lost 3 pregnancies, babies? I know what you are going through. It is tough and so very sad. It is horrible. You need to find someone to whom you can confide and to talk about your feelings, your fears. Please do this for yourself. Talking to someone who understands the military man's min, if you will, would be very beneficial to you.
I think that you said you see your doctor again on Tuesday. Is this correct?
I am mainly concerned with your safety right now. Was this just a huge fight or is it much deeper than that? All couples are vulnerable to fight when difficult situations arise. If this is more than this, then you need to address it and try to get yourself to a place where you are safe if it is not a typical big fight.
On another note... your HCG now climbing to 20,000 is a very good sign.
Yes it is true that some women bleed in the early stages of pregnancy. It is most imperative that you rest and not do anything that might make this the bleeding worse. You need to try to be calm... you need to rest as much as you can until the bleeding had lessened to a large degree. Rest is imperative at this point.
I am not sure what else to say. If you are back at home and the two of you are back to being loving again... try your best to not bring anything up that could ignite another argument. You need to be strong right now... you need to understand that your hubby is probably scared and hurting also. As much as you need and want him to be everything for you right now you need to not be too needy and mopey. Please understand that I am not being harsh... I am just trying to give you some tools to be able to stave off another argument. I know that you can do this... do this for your health and for the wellbeing of that little baby inside of you.

Please keep me posted on how you are doing. If you would like to send me a private message, please feel free to do so.

I will keep you and your husband and that beautiful being inside of you in my prayers. Be calm dear girl, and be quiet, and rest.
I will be here for you if you need me.

May God bless you and keep you...

Hi wishful !!
I am so very happy that you can hear the wee heartbeat!! That is wonderful news!!
Pup and Jaime covered just about everything, so I may as well keep my gob shut at this point.
Just want you to know that I am here for you.
If possible, have your husband move out, if the situation isn't too explosive that is, so you and your son and your unborn baby have a place to live that is comfortable and familiar. I would think if he were any kind of MAN he would opt for this. But maybe he isn't a real man? If he were, he would be with you during this time.
Just be ever so careful and rest, rest, rest!!

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I spotted during my pregnancy as well, and have a lovely 16 year old daughter, but I was on complete bed rest for 10 days! But you can do that. Enlist that 8 year old to help out if you can? I know your eight year old needs you at this point, but see if you can get another military wife to help with your older child? That may help a bit. Just remember what Pup and Jaime said, and take it easy. Rest all you can.
Did the doc's tell you bedrest? Or to rest at all? Let us know if you need anything and we will be here for you!!!
Congratulations, and your hubby just may change his mind, and be there for you and your other child!!! Keep hope, for tis the best of things!!
Your friend,