i have read all the reports & letters re fentanyl and have chosen it as a way to get out of this life. i am a Brit ,suffer from bi-Polar 2, am 68 years old and have been on FENTANYL for 12 years at 150mcgh. i have a little stash of about 50 of the 100 patches and 50 of the 50mcgh ones so hopefully they will be enough should i i stick them all on. Reason for suicide usual one not loved, being no 2 in my mothers 92 year old life, hated by my sister, and after 30 years of happy married life find i am not no 1 in her life. absolutely no money worries of any kind in fact very comfortably off. seems a shame but funnily enough am not concerned about it at all. my only question is have i enough to do a good job or should i wait to get some more. have 30 odd oxycodone but dont want to be sick. to all of you out there in a similar position dont be such a fool if you are young and have your life ahead of you but if like me at 68 then good luck./
12 Feb 2011
Please don't do this. I don't know you or why someone would contemplate such a final, irrevocable act. Why would you put your mother through the heartache of burying her son? Or having a loved one find you dead? Imagine the guilt and pain your family will go through for the rest of their lives, wondering if there was something they could have done to prevent this. Feeling like they should have seen some signs of the pain you feel. Is that the intention? To punish those who love you but don't feel they love you back? At least wait and see if things can change, talk with your family. I will add you as a friend and hope you will accept and add me too. I would love to talk with you and maybe we can see if there's a solution to your pain. How about it? At least give it a shot ok??
Hang in there,
12 Feb 2011
you sound as though you have decided what you are going to do, I can't change you mind but one of the things I am going to do is talk with you, What you are about to do, or even contemplate doing will not only affect you its how many other people it will have an effect on.
your mother, you seem to know that she loves you, have you ever thought what it takes for her to carry on at her age, I know what I am talking about, My Mom is 93, my father passed and I moved back home, her mind is as sharp as can be she has some health problems but she is determined to fight, she gets around having bone on bone and uses a scooter, but she will tell you if I don't continue then I will be in a situation to where I won't function, she takes over the counter medicine for pain, the doctor has offered her more (stronger medicine but she says if I take it and then I loose my balance and fall then you will worry yourself to death) I have no brothers or sisters, I am so thankful despite the many health problems that I have the I am alive and I want her to be able to remain home and to be able to give her the best that she can get, another thing I have Chronic pain, I have been on the patch but had to discontinue due to poor muscle mass, I can't help but wonder when you say or talk about you have the perfect way out once you do this terrible thing to yourself wonder how many time your doctor and the many that follow him will think about prescribing for patients who are really in pain thinking maybe they might do just exactly as you and follow your example, I have as I said multiple health problems but even though I have pain till it involves taking medication everyday I cannot imagine even thinking about ending my life, I think of the people who are left behind, I try hard every time I answer a question to be compassionate and caring, whether it sounds like it or not I feel the same for you, I want you to reconsider what you are thinking, there are special people with questions who visit this site everyday, no matter what you think you have something to give to others, I will believe that no matter what choice you determine, I can't begin to tell you how I care and if I could I would help you to rethink this process through, but I cannot force you to do anything, I can only hope, really hope that you will have a change of heart, I feel intense sorrow and I have never met you but I have deep regard for your life, it is given and we aren't the ones who should make the decisions, if its lack of pain control then surely someone is out there to help otherwise I beg of you not to make a decision that you cannot change, I am thinking, caring and send all of this to you!!
12 Feb 2011
STOP, it isn't your time yet. God has a plan for your life. Don't be selfish. Stop worrying about what other people think and get on with the life that God wants you to live. He loves you and so do others. You can start today, start over with a renewed relationship with God. Don't condemn yourself to a worthless life. Talk to us and we can help,
12 Feb 2011
You are obviously quite depressed. I have been in that horrid spot before, yet never contemplated suicide.
Please go to your local hospital, there are medications that can take this depression away! Do not give up hope now.
Just my opinion, yet I do believe that God has a plan for each of us, including you. Just try to get through today, just one day. And either go to hospital or call your doc!!!
It matters not what others think of you, it matters what you think of you. Please please go to hospital and explain how you are feeling.
Let us all know how you are doing? We care,
17 Dec 2012
James I hope u r still with us, but I do understand how u feel. I have been there but was unsuccessful bc Ididnt plan, it was very spontaneous. Now years later I have a beautiful 4 yr old little girl that I live for.
I am by no means a Dr but I do have alot of experience and knowlegde on patches. Reluctantly, I will answer your question... You have more than enough, theres no doubt about that. But, I beg u to do everything possible to try to make yourself happy before its too late. I realize u have several challenged w your health, but w the right kind of help u could still enjoy your life!
I am dissabled and suffer from MDD, major depressive disorder and my husband has been unemployrd for almost 2 yrs! I am struggling to feed my child and give her the basics. We r behind on our rent 3 months and late on all our bills. I struggle to keep a happy face on for my daughter but deep inside I am so sad and miserable! I know u understand this. I just wish there was a way for my smile to my daughter to be genuine and real. We dont even have a car things are so bad! I dont know what to do. I think it would be so easy to just put myself out of misery but I cant make my daughter live w out her mommy. She needs me. So I ask u , can u help me? I want to help u in return. I could be your friend, but that is the only thing I have to offer you.
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