I've had only 3 manic events in 30+yrs & I always suffer from Chronic Depression.The last Mania was almost 2 yrs. ago and I consciencely chose to hide it and not seek help. It lasted for 7 mos. before I was found out. 2 mo.'s later the devastation I caused was truly permanent. When you cannot expect the people you have hurt to forgive you for what you did..and they won't, how do you even begin to forgive yourself? I have no excuses for the bad behavior, even though I was in a Manic State. I knew what I was doing, I knew I should tell someone before it got out of control, It just felt so good to not be depressed. Can anybody tell me how you move forward?