I’ve got 12 and I’m in pain
4 left on day 10
Then 3
Then 2
Day 13 there’s none
Forgetting, gone, gone…but wouldn’t it be nice
To have a few or one
Wince softly and I got 30
No need to worry
My 30 turns into a month of isolated daily remedies
Everyone has their reasons
And wouldn’t it be nice
But not….yet
White lies and deep sighs
And I got 30 times three
Times the remedy by two and I float away…
Times it by three – I’m breaking ties
Times it by four – I don’t care if I live or die
Times it by five – I forget the day, the time…
Cheating, stealing, remembering…how…it was
I lived before…
Grieving
Thieving
So I up it by three plus caffeine
To enable my legs to move….my head to nod, my hands to wave at those who don’t know me anymore
Alone…
So I up it by four
And build walls between them and me
Fake a fall, tempt the one who holds it all…to give freely from the script
The lottery won – allowing my make believe to live on
As I fall further down this rabbit hole
Then lets see – I got 20 and 10 days
2 per day won’t do – 3 …equals 6 days of a remedy
Call in one – no profit, just criticism
Then I float
I got 5 more…taper, taper, taper
Then withdraw
Coldness, sharpness…anxiety
Skin not made for me…the tingling…and no remedy
Knees wobbly – self conscious
What have I become?
I’ve got none…
It’s what you’ve got, what you’ve got, what you’ve got
When you are everything you wish you were not
Addiction.